existence

They call me observant,

but that's not entirely true.

People are so easy to read.

We bleed emotions even in the way we drink a cup of coffee.

No one seems to notice though.

They're all too busy drinking their own damn coffee.




They call me honey, sweetie, love, baby, cutie, 

but your tongue has never known mine.

Weirdo, freak, idiot, stuck-up, ignorant, psycho, bitch,

but your teeth have never penetrated my skin.

Boys cry,

girls masturbate,

boys can like pink and not be gay,

girls can have short hair and not be lesbian,

boys can like ballet,

girls can like video games,

boys can be beautiful without a six pack,

girls can be handsome without a hairless body,

boys have dandruff,

girls have stretch marks.

I am strong and caring.

I am logical and intuitive.

I am simultaneously one of the kindest and rudest people you will ever meet.

I am opinionated and indecisive.

I am insecure and confident.

I am ugly, I am beautiful, I am bursting with life.

I am home to strange and brilliant thoughts.

I am a messy perfectionist.

I am innocent and cunning.

I am heavily flawed but I am still better than good enough.

I am so much and I will never again, allow myself to be reduced to a single word.

Even when existing, I am still so much more.

They say I'm too quiet, too loud.

If someone would stop and listen,

they'd hear I'm on an entirely different frequency.

I say I'm me

an entity

an absence

everything

nothing

Leroy

李 如 玉

Linda Davies

W O R L D C L A S S

High school

is memorizing facts

that you’ll forget in two days

for a test on information

that probably will not affect

your job in ten years.

It’s sobbing and screaming

because you’re just too stressed.

It’s finding out who you are

within the school guidelines 

and social norms.

It’s doing 28 hours of work

and activities in only 24 hours.

It's drinking coffee
everyday
because there just isn't enough
time for eight hours of sleep.

It’s learning how to factor

when you could be learning

how to do taxes.

It’s breaking your back

with a backpack full of

textbooks.

It’s going to school

and sitting there for

eight hours only to go

back home and do

three more hours of work.

It’s crying in the hallway

during finals week.

Actually,
it's crying over everything
because
HORMONES

It’s taking what is claimed

to be the best three years

of your life and turning it into

a living hell.

High school

is leaving you clueless

when asked a non-academic question

because there is no

study guide

for life.

The News

Error

Has

          Turned

                    Animals

                                                  Into

     Men

May

 Truth

                         Be

           Capable Of

                                          Turning

                                     Man

    Into

                                                        Animal


Again.

Arrhythmia

I'm the one waiting. 

The other one never waits. 

Sometimes I want to play the part of the one who doesn't wait; I try to busy myself elsewhere, to arrive late, but I always lose at these games. 

Why is everything I like either too expensive, illegal or won't text me back?

I'm the one waiting.

But her heart was heavy, that meant she hit the ground harder when she fell.

Whatever I do, I find myself there, with nothing to do, punctual, even ahead of time.

Over here didn't seem so lonely from over there.

It haunts me like the things we don't say.

Sometimes I wish I were numb.

The lover's fatal identity is precisely this; I am the one who waits.

Irrational

Why do I fear your hands more than I do my own?

Yours are only a little bigger.

A little rougher.

More experienced.

But sometimes small things are better.

They're more tender.

More innocent.

For years, I have been watching myself die.

Each day eats away at my soul.

When awake at 3 a.m. you are either in love or lonely.

I don't know which one is worse.

I am afraid of both.

When I finally meet my end

I won't be scared, I won't defend
The things I've done
I don't need Him like you do - I don't fear Him like you do

He can't save me the way He does you.

I never want to see tomorrow.

I fear it more than you do.

If you leave me, I'll be afraid of everything.
I already am.

The Nature of Beauty

It is easier to love your body when you think of it as a landscape with your peaks and meadows, oceans and valleys.

“Society has a problem with female nudity when it is not… ” —Badu pauses to get her words together; she wants this point to be very clear— “…when it is not packaged for the consumption of male entertainment. Then it becomes confusing.”

—	Erykah Badu

Child

1/7/12

Go to Hell.



8/19/13

Wink and say hello.
Trace your eyes all over me.
Wink and say goodbye.



10/14/13

From dusk to dawn.
Alone in the backseat.
Give me hope.

Just us, two unblinking browns and the silence.

Give me rope.
My heart stopped all the same.

12/31/13

Surely I don't blame you

I wanted to see you tonight

I'm all that you accuse me,

a sinking ship tied to my lover's waist

When I open up

Is when you're closing down

Surely why don't we

Surely it's what you're asking

And I'm not sure what you want from me
I can't be all you wish for

5/16/14

I suppose what I wanted was

To hear you’d stay with me always

I suppose what I wanted was

To see those hands vowing never to leave my own

I suppose what I wanted was

To know with certainty, I am not loving in vain

I know what I needed was

Your voice ringing from behind my ear

I know what I needed was

You clasped so tightly around me no doubt could sway

I know what I needed was

Loving from you



7/23/14

__________  Is how I feel with thoughts of you

__________  Is your promise filled with words anew

__________  Is what I wish for with your piercing gaze

__________  Is after I think with daze

__________  Is what I hope my trash would be

__________  Is how you feel for me

9/5/14

Only chaos and discord can bring your presence

Our eyes to hold but you’re first to break

Dark and full of lust, always.

With voice and finger you beckoned.

All I could do was follow.

Everything had stopped.

I fell.

What are the excuses this time?

In the tumult of thoughts

Why is the only one whom remains,

You?


4/16/15

Up and down those black holes roam.
Scientists theorize that they cancel light,
but when you look at me, everything glows.
May it be because I think with my heart,
not my mind?